You’re my first, but you didn’t make me mommy. Though your body is the first to transform my body on through to motherhood, another has already taken my heart and soul on the journey. You complete the transformation, but my sweet boy, you didn’t start it.

I know it’s confusing. Its hard to explain. It’s awkward to respond to the relenteless “is this your first?” Because either response feels like a lie. You are my baby, but so is she. I may not have felt her first flutters or big kicks within me as I do yours… but she is still deeply woven into the knitting of my heart.

She was the first to call me mommy. The first sleepy “I love you” after a bedtime story and cuddle. The first early morning wake up. The first late night jolt at the sound of a cough. The first to show me what true sacrafice means.

Others compare the love I have for you little one with the love I have for her, and to some extent it’s understandable. I can see where they are coming from. But my sweet boy, the love I feel for you and her are so great. The idea of being “mommy” to both of you makes my heart skip a beat.

So i’ll let them make their assumptions, but thats where i’ll leave them. Because there is no doubt in my mind that you are both the greatest treasures i’ve ever been blessed with. No comparison necessary. God gave me both of you. You may have come in different ways, but you’re mine nonetheless.

Published by bestillhawk

• I am a wife, (step) momma, cat momma, preschool teacher, blogger and coffee enthusiast.
• I struggle with moderate to severe Anxiety.

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