Happy Thursday! Here are some quick little updates before I jump into today’s topic:

This little babe inside of me has been growing for an entire 18 weeks now and is the size of a green pepper (which also happens to be one of my favorite snacks)! It’s crazy to believe how fast time is going. I still feel like I just found out our little nugget even existed. What a whirl wind these last few months have been.

We are officially all moved into our new home as of this past weekend! My husband, myself, and some of our family worked all weekend to get everything moved over and into the house! Trey and my dad even got the entire yard mowed and edged. What I difference it made!

I keep having days where I think we are still renting and then suddenly “realize” it’s ours. What a feeling! We truly are so blessed to be here and are loving this space! I can’t wait to start sharing the room before and after updates once everything gets put together and organized! Stay tuned!


Anxiety can be so frustrating in that I can be doing SO WELL mentally and all of a sudden something triggers my brain into a constant worry cycle. It could something as simple as a phrase (said without negative intentions) or something I happened to read while scrolling through social media.

(Please don’t tell me that I need to “not stress because it isn’t good for baby”- I KNOW. I know you mean well, but the truth is that this cliche phrase not only turns the guilt level up to max, but starts a worry cycle that gets hard to stop. If I could stop my anxiety, I would, especially for the health of my baby. But I can’t, so this phrase is extremely hurtful, not helpful.)

We have our 20 week appointment in 2 weeks which means we finally get to see baby again. It also means we can find out baby’s gender and see all of his/her anatomy! While I am really excited, i’m also terrified. I’m terrified because it will have been 10 weeks since we’ve SEEN baby. So much can change in 10 weeks. I’m praying for the best and know that the lord has my baby in his hands. But, i’m still anxious, and my brain has turned the worry cycle up to 10.

I keep asking myself if my stomach has grown enough? Should I be feeling lots of kicks by now? Is baby getting all the nutrients it needs? When I sit down and really rationalize these I know that i’m still okay. There aren’t any real red flags, meaning there isn’t any real reason to worry.


I’ve been leaning into prayer and on friends for support. It’s been so nice to have a good friend who is further along in her own pregnancy. We’ve been able to share experiences, laugh about the not so great symptoms, and rejoice together. While every pregnancy is different, it’s been comforting to lean in with my concerns and hear some positive feedback!

Published by bestillhawk

• I am a wife, (step) momma, cat momma, preschool teacher, blogger and coffee enthusiast.
• I struggle with moderate to severe Anxiety.


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1 Comment

  1. You sound like a regular first time expectant mother. Everything’s new so it’s normal to wonder about it all. And unsolicited advice goes with the territory I’m afraid, but they’re just wanting to participate with you. Just glad you have someone to trade stories with. Praying for you guys!

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