I almost cannot believe that a year ago today I had the most perfect wedding to the man of my dreams. Together we have done and accomplished so much in the last year and I could not be more proud of us. This past year, has been hands down my happiest. That being said, I have learn a lot of things about marriage, and myself, along the way!
Here are some things I have learned over the last year;
- The art of “Becoming One”.
It’s funny to see how much each of us adapt to the other. How much our sense of humor, appetites, and habits all kind of merge together. We were pretty similar in the beginning and now I really see the process of “becoming one”, as a reality. We were joking around the other day and my husband high-fived me and I found myself grinning ear to ear eagerly high-fiving back. When we first started dating, I thought high-fives were odd, but I did them because the nerd I loved, loved them. Now, I think I love those moments too!
- Communication really is Key.
A few months after the wedding we really started struggling with communication. I will admit that this part was all on me. He is a great communicator, I however am not. It takes a lot of work for me to know when I should be communicating something and then to actually be able to put it into words.. and often I find myself being stubborn and not wanting to put it into words.
This is by no means an excuse, but I never learned how to communicate properly in a marriage. The concept was completely foreign for me. However, I realized that it was already putting such a strain on our marriage that it would end up being a make or break-it in our future. I have put a lot of effort into re-learning how to communicate effectively with Him, starting with telling him that I sucked at it and needed to grow in that area, and he has been more than gracious and patient along the way. I can say with confidence that our communication has been 10x better and has taken so much if not all of the tension off of our marriage!
- It’s easy to get lost in the day to day to find the romance.
YES. Just like everything else, we have to make our priorities intentional. It is so easy to get caught up in the rhythm of our day. Thankfully me and my husband are similar and often find more romance in the little things (such as coming home exhausted, heating up a simple dinner, and watching a million episodes of The Office) than the big gestures.
- Sex won’t solve the problem… well most of the time.
I kind of think that this one speak for it self, but I have really learned that Sex will not solve everything. If you’re arguing, it more than likely won’t fix the issue. However, I have also learned that being intimate with your partner can often be a game changer. Sometimes we just needed a little extra.. connection!
As a little girl filled with dreams and fairy tales I did not realize how much work and continuous effort a marriage takes, day in and day out. It is far more than just the vows on your wedding day or sweet pictures on your social media newsfeed. It is a life time of commitment and work. It is long conversations, that sometimes you just do not want to have. It is not always EASY, but man have I learned how amazing and beautiful it is!